


Comalot

by adrift_me



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Car Accidents, Coma, Dreams, M/M, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:10:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4133580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrift_me/pseuds/adrift_me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin witnesses a car accident. The man, who is hit, falls in a coma. Merlin feels strange attachment to this man's fate.  And his coma is not as simple as it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreams in coma

**Author's Note:**

> The story is inspired with Dreamfall Chapters.
> 
> I hope you will all enjoy reading! Please, don't hesitate to leave comments, it will certainly make me happy :)

It happens in a blink.

Merlin hardly has seconds to realize what has just happened in front of him. There is noise in his ears and it seems to last forever, until a woman screams. There is a commotion and Merlin hurries over to a body, which is lying on the road half covered in blood and its arm is arched in a weird angle. Merlin feels something unpleasant in his stomach. Suddenly the whole world seems to crush on Merlin’s head with all its car noise, all the chatter of the sympathetic passers-by. He quickly fishes his mobile phone out of the pocket and calls the hospital.

Merlin hardly has a chance of looking at the man, who is hit with a car, when a couple of medics rushes to him and moves him on the stretcher. Someone squeezes Merlin shoulder and he doesn’t even protest. The someone who squeezed his arm asks in a low tone.

“Are you alright?”

Merlin simply nods.

“Have you seen what happened?” he is asked again and he merely repeats his gesture. His tongue seems to have gone somewhere and his throat is dry. He has never seen a car accident before and the visions in his mind make shivers run down his spine.

“You will have to give evidence, sir,” says the man.

“Yes, I will. I will.”

Together they follow the medics inside the ambulance car. Merlin sits at the door and the man, who squeezed his shoulder, is right in front of him. He is dressed in a uniform, his eyes are piercing, but they are full of sympathy. He pulls out a notepad and a pen.

“Now please, concentrate. Describe what’s happened?”

Merlin hesitates, gathering his thoughts. He opens his mouth and it’s dry, but he makes an effort of telling the policeman everything that might help find the driver.

***

Merlin’s head is lolled to the left, as he sits at the wall, dozing off. The doctor walks out of the ward, closing the door silently, but it sounds like a canon in the silence of the hospital corridor. Merlin jerks and stands up quickly, nearly bumping into someone.

“Sorry,” he says to a stranger in a black leather jacket.

“No problem, mate” says the man. His lips stretch in a small smile but it’s wiped off as he turns to the doctor.

“All is fine,” the doctor pronounces and the man in a jacket sighs with relief. But Merlin can feel there is a “but”. There is always a “but”.

“But I must inform you that your friend is in coma. And we are not sure if he will make his way out of it.”

The leather man stumbles and Merlin sees that his legs are giving way. Merlin’s skin goes cold and he rubs his arm. He feels strangely alive when someone as well as dead is so close.

“Can I see him?” asks the leather man, looking at the doctor with a determined expression. The doctor opens the door invitingly but doesn’t come inside. Merlin follows the leather man nonetheless. The door behind them closes.

“Sorry to ask, mate, but who are you?” the man turns round on Merlin, dark mane of hair flying up a bit.

“A witness,” says Merlin drily. The man’s eyes widen.

“You saw it happening? You must tell me. And the police,” says the man, putting a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and squeezing it painfully tight.

“I already have. Who is he?” asks Merlin, when the man’s hand slides off his shoulder. They both come up to a bed, where a comatose man lies. When Merlin gets a closer look at him, this man seems pure and innocent. He is very pale, his golden mess of hair is spread on a white pillow. His body is covered to chest with a white thin blanket and Merlin knows it hides seams on the bruises. He is wired up to a screen, that beeps serenely.

“My friend. Arthur Pendragon. And I’m Gwaine, by the way,” he says.

“Merlin.”

They shake hands and sit down on both sides at Arthur Pendragon’s bed, where small stools stand. “He is a very good friend of mine, you could say a best friend I’ve ever had.”

Merlin smiles without looking at Gwaine. His gaze is glued to Arthur. His chest is heaving slowly as he breathes and one can think he is simply sleeping.

“How did this happen? Please, tell me,” pleads Gwaine. Merlin closes his eyes, recollecting the terrible accident.

It was too fast. But perhaps for the best. Merlin was walking down the street, just an evening walk before coming back home. He was thinking of everything and nothing, when a blonde man came out of a high business building. He was dressed simply, casually, and Merlin hardly gave him any notice, when it happened.

“There was a car. The driver must have lost control on the slippery road. The wheel turned and the car sideslipped dangerously to the left. He had no chance. It was too quick,” Merlin finds it hard to finish telling what happened, his voice is hoarse and something is stinging his eyes. Gwaine’s lips are pressed as he watches his friend.

“Thank you, Merlin. I’m glad that you are showing support to the man you never knew. It makes me think that humanity still has a chance.”

***

Merlin leaves not long after their conversation. He is walking down the street home, seeing nothing in his eyes but the evening accident. He is terrified, shocked and he doesn’t know how to wipe this vision off. He spends this night sleeping tight but his dreams are vivid and disturbed. When he wakes up, his bedsheets are sticking unpleasantly to the sweaty back.

The next day Merlin is at his computer service station. Lance is at the desk nearby, disassembling a laptop one of their clients brought. Merlin has a lot of work to do, but his hands are trembling and his mind is elsewhere. When he drops a screwdriver, Lance sighs loudly and turns to him.

“Is something wrong, Merlin?” he asks him with a very sincere tone. Merlin shakes his head and something incomprehensible, more like a “m-m” escapes his mouth. But Lancelot is not the one to give up questioning that easily. He puts the laptop down and comes up to Merlin’s desk. He draws a chair, that screeches loudly on the floor surface, and slouches on it.

“Tell me. I can see you are not yourself today. No babbling, no cheerful smile. What is it?”

Merlin hesitates, his gaze fixed on the spare part he was messing with. His hands are still trembling deceitfully.

“I saw a car accident yesterday,” he says finally with a hoarse voice. Lancelot sits back.

“Has someone died?” his question is straightforward and Merlin can’t even protest.

“Mm, no. There was he. I mean, a man. He was hit. I went to hospital with him,” Merlin feels his heart beating madly against his ribs. Why has he taken this man’s fate so close to heart? “He is in a coma.”

“Wow. I am really sorry. But you can’t do anything for him now. You did all you can, I suppose. Police, hospital?” Lancelot leans in and puts his arms on the desk.

“Yes, all that. But… Lance, I fear for his life. The doc said he hardly has a chance. I was there in his ward,” Merlin turns his trembling hands over, as if holding something invisible in the air. “His body, so limp and peaceful, but bruised, hit. And he just lies there and knows nothing of his fate.”

“Merlin, calm down, mate,” Lancelot squeezes his shoulder just like Gwaine did last night. Lancelot’s eyes are kind and they seem to look right into Merlin’s mind. “You did all you could. Perhaps even more than anyone would do. Stop beating yourself up on it. Maybe it will help you if you drop by and visit this guy today?”

Merlin’s heart beats even faster, if possible. It sounds like a good idea.

He leaves their station early, being completely unable to work in such a state. He carefully makes his way to hospital, which is only a few streets away. He passes by a friendly nurse receptionist, takes the stairs instead of the elevator and soon walks in ward #7.

Arthur lies in bed the same as yesterday, Merlin can’t help a smirk - how can a comatose man change his state within a night? He draws up a chair closer to Arthur’s bank.

“Hello, Arthur,” he says foolishly and smiles. He puts his hand on top of Arthur’s. It feels warm under his fingers. “I’m Merlin. Nice to meet you.”

Arthur doesn’t reply, of course, but Merlin would like to think he would say, “Hey Merlin.” His voice must be low.

“I hope it doesn’t hurt you too much. Or doesn’t hurt at all,” says Merlin quietly, nodding at the thin tubes, helping Arthur breathe. He moves his hand away. There is a needle in Arthur’s vein, drugging him up to decrease the pain. Merlin swallows. “I am sorry it’s happened to you. Just be careful next time, will you?”

Merlin swallows again and it’s suddenly painful in his throat. Words are stuck somewhere deep and Merlin seems to be unable to dig them out. He shuts his mouth and just looks at Arthur.

He thinks Arthur is very beautiful.

“Merlin!” says Gwaine, entering the ward. The leather jacket is gone, it’s just a dark grey jumper today. Merlin also notices, that Gwaine is not alone. There are two men behind him, one of them incredibly tall and broad shouldered. The other one has a mane of curly messy hair and a very kind smile. Merlin suddenly feels small and odd. He stands up.

“Sorry, I was leaving already,” he mumbles, snatching his backpack from the floor, but Gwaine raises both hands, palms facing Merlin.

“Don’t worry. You should stay,” he turns a bit and steps to the side. “It’s Leon and Percival. They are friends of Arthur’s too.”

They all shake hands and Merlin still feels small in their company. They all move chairs up to Arthur’s bed. Merlin thinks he would be happy if he were awake.

“No changes?” asks Gwaine, his face suddenly pale.

“No. Nothing.”

“Thank you, Merlin. For getting him here. And for giving the evidence,” says Leon and Percy nods to his speech. “When he wakes up, I’m sure he’ll thank you.”

The “if he wakes up” hangs somewhere in the air. They all shift uncomfortably.

They don’t stay long in the ward. It’s getting late and Merlin wants to escape as soon as he can. They stand up and he sees Gwaine leaning closer to Arthur, squeezing his arm slightly.

“Hang in there, mate. You’ll be up in no time. And we’ll wait for you,” he says and Merlin feels something twisting in his stomach again. When they all leave, Merlin turns around and his lips form, “Get well, Arthur”.

***

_Arthur is in bed, it’s late and all he wants is to get some good sleep. But he can’t. All his thoughts are about this new servant boy, that his father assigned today for saving his life from a witch. What a payment, what an honour, Arthur thinks poisonously. He rolls over in his soft bed and plants his face in a pillow. Who is this boy anyway?_

_“I’m Merlin,” he said._

_Merlin. What a stupid name, thinks Arthur and rolls over again, now facing the upper part of his bed. Merlin. Merlin who is way too mysterious. Who isn’t scared to stand against Prince Arthur. Merlin who saved his life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any questions, typo reports and suggestions, please contact me on [Tumblr](http://toffy346.tumblr.com/)


	2. Of Life And Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know that I didn't mention something here. It is to be mentioned in the next chapters :)

Merlin wakes up with a start. His body is painful and his mind is full of incomprehensible images and visions. They flash in bright lights, in red cloaks and Merlin’s ears are ringing with swords’ clinging. He shakes his head. His dream is slipping away right through his fingers. Not that he ever found those dreams important.

Whatever Merlin is trying to do this day at work returns him to thoughts of Arthur, his peaceful being, his serene unconsciousness. Merlin has so much pain for a man who he hardly knows and it starts scaring him. Yet why not care? Why not be emotional over a person you have half saved a life of?

Merlin is at work and these questions are buzzing in his head annoyingly. He is twisting some cables, unbounding them and sorting them in boxes. And he is very well aware of Lancelot’s sympathetic glances.

“I’m fine,” says Merlin in the end, when Lancelot pauses his work and looks again. “No need to mother me.”

“Have you visited him then?” Lancelot asks casually, avoiding Arthur’s name.

“Yeah. He has a good group of support. I felt like a terrier among the mastiffs,” says Merlin, glancing at his friend. Lancelot snorts, shaking his head and turning the screwdriver.

“Can’t be that bad.”

“You haven’t seen them. I mean they are really nice, his friends. But I’ve never felt more odd than yesterday. Like I have accidentally intruded in someone’s private life,” Merlin waves a wire. “Like peeping through the keyhole.”

“I can understand that. But you have every right to visit this guy, since you partly saved his life.”

Merlin snorted. “This is something I didn’t do.”

Of course, Merlin knows what he did, but he is still too uncomfortable with accepting it aloud.

“Give yourself more credit. Some people wouldn’t have called the hospital,” Lancelot’s voice is low and calm as he speaks and Merlin might even give in in his reassurances.

“It’s no big deal,” mumbles Merlin, twisting the wire in his hands. He has spent endless hours thinking, why this Arthur is so important. There isn’t anything special about him and from Gwaine’s description Arthur is nothing more but a sportsman. A good one, yes. Merlin shakes his head. Every life matters.

“I can keep you company today, if you want,” suddenly says Lancelot, a sly smile on his lips. Merlin continues twisting the wire with no purpose for it and feels his cheeks flush.

“What makes you think I go there today?”

“Merlin, honestly, I know you too well. I am quite sure you are going to visit him today.”

Merlin sighs, avoiding Lance’s gaze. He actually was. He even thought of buying oranges, before remembering that he visits a comatose man. His choice changed to a bouquet of wild flowers, but he is not sure he will do even that. He can imagine Gwaine’s smug face when he sees the flowers. Merlin is not a girl, he thinks to himself.

“No, I should go alone.”

“As you wish. But Merlin, you know that if you ever need my help, I am always there for you.”

And Merlin knows and appreciates it.

***

He bumps into Gwaine in the hospital entrance. Together they take their usual route upstairs, where Arthur is lying. On their way up they chat a little. Merlin notices that today the hospital is busier and noisier, doctors running past them, their white robes flapping behind. Merlin looks around, as one of the nurses hurries downstairs with a metal tray.

“What do you think has happened?” he asks, turning to Gwaine. He shrugs.

“I heard there was a football match and things got nasty. They always do.”

Merlin wonders how exactly nasty, if half of the hospital staff is running around hastily.

As they reach the ward, Merlin sees a dark figure through the blurred glass window of the door. Gwaine pushes it to come inside. The ward is not empty. There is a tall beautiful woman by Arthur’s side. Her make up is smudged, as tears are wet on her cheeks. She looks up at the visitors, when they close the door.

“Gwaine!” she exclaims and hastily wipes tears off. “I just… I have just arrived. I got a call.”

She stands up and Gwaine gives her a tight hug, the one that close old friends have when they don’t see each other for far too long. Merlin can see that the woman is of outstanding beauty, her black hair streaming down in gentle curls. She is dressed formally and there is a thin business case on her chair.

“It’s good to see you, Morgana. Don’t worry about Arthur. He’ll be fine. It’s Arthur Pendragon, after all,” Gwaine pats her back and lets go.

“This is what worries me,” she says half chortling, half breathing roughly in. Her eyes flicker at Merlin, who feels odd yet again, like an intruder in someone’s private life.

“It’s Merlin,” Gwaine introduces him. “He got Arthur to hospital. And he saw it happening.”

“I’m Morgana, Arthur’s sister. Thank you so much, Merlin!” she gives him a half-tearful smile and her long fingers wipe tears again. Merlin gives her a weak smile. Gwaine moves closer to Morgana and Merlin can hear him muttering.

“What of your father? Has he been informed? I did not dare, but...”

“Don’t talk to me about him,” cuts the woman and her voice is much steadier as she speaks. “He won’t bother.”

“But does he know?”

“I never asked. I had enough of Uther Pendragon. Someone else will have to tell him that his only son is in coma. Perhaps, it will knock some sense in his gray head.”

“You shouldn’t be so angry.”

“Well I am,” Morgana says with steel in her voice, and her eyes glance at Gwaine angrily. She talks in a lower whisper, which sounds even more bitter. “I remember my father as an arrogant selfish being, not a loving parent.”

Merlin tries his best to tune out Morgana’s words. Instead he occupies himself with studying Arthur. He approaches his bedside and sits down. Arthur is peaceful, he thinks. His breathing is steady, but there is hardly any life left in this body. His chest is heaving merely.

“He is so serene,” Morgana’s voice is suddenly close and gentle. She stands by Merlin’s side and bends down to touch her brother’s hand. His fingers are relaxed and she rubs his finger tips lovingly. “I haven’t seen him for a year. My little brother.”

Merlin stands up abruptly. Morgana gazes at him, so does Gwaine.

“Sorry. Uhm, I think I’d better leave.”

“Merlin. Thank you,” Morgana smiles at him again and sits on the vacant stool. Merlin is followed by Gwaine outside. As they descend, Gwaine speaks as a matter of factly.

“Fancy a drink, mate?”

***

“Morgana is a wonderful woman. Maybe too harsh in desicions, but she is a kind person and a loving sister,” says Gwaine, when they settle in a pub with two large beer mugs. “I met her in university. She has nearly graduated and I just entered with Arthur. She was a star.”

“Sounds good,” smiles Merlin. Morgana would have certainly been a star, he thinks, what with all this beauty and air.

“Yeah. I even had a crash on her,” Gwaine leans in and whispers confidentially.

“She mentioned their father,” Merlin shrugs, hiding his look in dark beer, as he makes a sip. Gwaine shakes his head annoyingly, his lips twisted.

“Uther Pendragon. Damn he be!”

“Why? Is he so bad?”

“Not very bad. But he can be blind in his decisions. And unfortunately he is stubborn. Morgana is so much like him, even if she denies it. At least she knows how to make use of her character.”

“But why does she...” Merlin looks for a better word than “hate”. “Why does she feel malice to him?”

Gwaine says nothing. His eyes are glued to Merlin’s, even as he raises his beer mug for a sip.

“You realize, Merlin, that it’s their family matter,” he says in a serious tone. Merlin nods.

“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t intrude.”

“... But I think I can tell you.”

***

_Arthur’s sword glints in the dim light of the courtroom. Dozens of candles mirror in its blade. Arthur’s heart is pounding against his chest, as he fights his own father to death. He can’t forgive him for lies about his mother and himself._

_Arthur is victorious, yet the victory is poisoned with hatred and with the fact of the defeated being his father. He raises his sword for a mortal blow, when Merlin bursts inside._

_He yells all this nonsense about Morgause being a liar. That he was enchanted._

_Arthur drops to his knees. His head is at his father’s side, as he shudders in crying._

_It’s Merlin again. It’s always Merlin by his side._

***

When Merlin is in bed, a randomly pulled out book in his hands, he gets a call. His phone is buzzing on the bedside table surface. It’s Gwaine.

“Hey!” says Merlin. “What is it?”

“Merlin, I thought you ought to know. I just got a call from the hospital. They say Arthur’s heartbeat has sped up.”

Merlin feels everything going cold inside him. Does it mean Arthur has moved to his deathbed? Will he see this world again? Will Merlin ever get to meet him?

“The doctors say there is no explanation whatsoever.”

Merlin is still silent. Only when Gwaine asks him, if he is still on the line, his voice hoarse and trembling slightly, Merlin manages a reply.

“Gwaine, please, keep me updated. It’s truly a matter of life and death.”


	3. Stay Away

There is no change in Arthur’s state for the next few days. Troubled with Arthur’s heartbeat rate, doctors are hopeful for his quicker recovery. But he seems to have come back into deep slumber.

Merlin still cherishes the thought of Arthur’s quick recovery. He keeps coming to hospital every day, he sits for hours at Arthur’s bed. He finds pleasure in studying his features and he thinks he already knows every inch of Arthur’s calm face. Moreover, he thinks he knows Arthur.

The hospital staff noticed Merlin’s presence long ago. He found a new friend in a face of a young intern nurse Gwen. She is kind, gentle and quite funny. As Merlin comes to visit Arthur on Tuesday, Gwen is in the ward. She is standing at the end of his bed, watching him sleep.

“Gwen,” says Merlin in a friendly manner, as he steps inside the ward. Gwen turns to him abruptly and smiles softly at him.

“Hello, Merlin. Sorry, I won’t be staying, I am sure you’d want to have some privacy with Arthur.”

Merlin nods and in a matter of seconds Gwen walks out. He breathes out loudly. He never told Gwen what Arthur is to him, neither did Gwaine or anyone else. Merlin suspects she thought him to be Arthur’s lover. He neither denied it nor acknowledged.

“Hi, Arthur,” says Merlin silently and draws the chair closer to his bed. He always greets Arthur as if he can hear him. “Good to see you again.”

He shoves his backpack to the side of Arthur’s bedside table, where a picture of him and his friends stands. It’s a nice touch left there by Morgana, when she dropped by last. Merlin looks at it curiously. He’s seen all these people: Gwaine, Leon and Percival. He talked to them and got to know them a bit, as they were so kind as to accept him in their company. Yet Arthur… He never knew Arthur whatever his false ideas tell him.

Merlin looks back at the comatose man. He slowly, as if ready to pull back, reaches out and touches Arthur’s hand. He slowly moves his fingers, almost hovering them over the skin. It makes shivers run down Merlin’s arm and spine. He slides his hand under Arthur’s and takes it in a gentle grasp, tangling his fingers with Arthur’s. They are limp, but warm. Merlin doesn’t want to let go even if this is silly.

He wonders if he could hold Arthur’s hand for as long as he allows himself. Perhaps, forever?

Merlin stays at Arthur’s side for an hour or more. He just holds his hand and talks nonsense to him, starting with the weather and finishing with thoughts about pigeons. Merlin laughs and he thinks Arthur would have laughed too.

When it’s time to leave, Merlin lingers. He is still holding Arthur’s large hand sandwiched between his own. He holds it up undecidedly and presses his lips gently to soft skin of Arthur’s hand.

“It will be fine, Arthur,” he says, rubbing Arthur’s fingers and kissing his hand again. “You will wake up. And you’ll be just fine. Just fine.”

He lowers Arthur’s hand back on the blanket and Merlin is sure that a twitched finger is only his imagination.

***

And so this becomes Merlin’s routine. Weeks after weeks he is coming to Arthur’s ward after work, he spends hours thinking of him, he starts going out with his friends, he even befriends Morgana, who accepts his friendship kindly. He introduces Lancelot to Arthur’s friends and he is slowly, but successfully getting into their welcoming company.

It’s one of those evenings, when Merlin is walking home with a stupid grin on his face. He has a silly hat on his head and a recollection of Arthur’s warmth in his hand. He has just met up with Gwaine, who told him an incredible amount of funny stories about Arthur. Merlin couldn’t help laughing and wondering if Arthur beats Gwaine up when he wakes and learns out how many secrets his best friend babbled out.

Suddenly there is a tight rough grasp on Merlin’s arm and he finds himself dragged into a black car. All Merlin can think about is being in a highly stereotypical action movie. After being thrown onto a sit, Merlin sees the door slam. The car moves. A deep low voice sounds next to him.

“I believe we have something to discuss, Mr. Emrys,” says a man in his fifties. He is good looking, wearing a luxurious suit, and has his hair cut in a style. Yet his face is nearly blank, his eyes are deep but emotionless.

“Who are you?” blurts out Merlin, getting over the shock. The man looks at him, still no expression on his pale lined face.

“I believe you have grown some interest in my son,” says the man. Merlin looks right in his eyes, but says nothing in reply. The man continues. “I would like to know what benefit you seek from your non-existent relationship.”

“What benefit?” asks Merlin blankly, his eyebrows raised.

“Are you after Arthur’s money? Do you think he will pay you for “maybe” saving his life when he awakes?”

“I don’t need Arthur’s money,” exclaims Merlin and tries to move away from the strange behaving man. He is still peering in Merlin’s eyes.

“What is it then?”

“I am just being human. I care for his health, that’s all,” says Merlin and swallows. “Are you Uther Pendragon?”

“Very well,” says the man without acknowledging if he truly is Uther. “I will drop you off here. And don’t you even dare touching my son. Once he awakes, you’ll keep away from him. You’d better start now.”

The next moment Merlin is outside on the cold street, staring at the car driving away. His heart is beating fast against his ribs. If he knew himself less, he would say it’s fear. Yet it isn’t. It’s anger, shaking him so hard that he has to fold his arms and rub them.

***

_Arthur has to go on, but he can’t. He has such a burden on his shoulders, he is a Prince who has to get the Fisher King’s trident, but he can’t proceed. His eyelids are heavy and almost painful as he tries to keep them opened. There are threatenings fangs of wyverns so close to him and their foul breath is blowing in his face. Arthur can’t go on. He failed. But if he did, he did it fighting, as he always wanted._

_He wakes up in an instant. He hears no wyverns close and there is something hovering over his face. It’s blurry, but he can make out Merlin’s features. And he doesn’t know if he should get angry or happy._

_ He shouts at Merlin, of course, but there is something not letting go of his mind. This brushing of hand - was it his imagination? Was it truly Merlin’s gentle touch on his wrist? As he glances at his hand briefly, he sees no bracelet on it. Whatever it means, it’s not important. Merlin’s touch is like sizzling hot metal round his wrist. _


	4. The Madness

“Merlin, it’s a threat, you should report him,” insists Lancelot. He and Merlin are sitting in a small coffee shop during their lunch break and they have a conversation in low whispers. Merlin rubs hands over his face.

“No, Lancelot, I can’t. He seems pretty big, this man. People like him don’t make threats without ground under their feet,” he shakes his head. Lancelot sighs. Merlin has told him the last night’s encounter with shaking hands. Not that he is scared. It is rage still shaking him, rage and helplessness.

“But you aren’t going to stop seeing Arthur?” Lancelot raises a brow and looks at his friend quizzically.

“Of course not!” exclaims Merlin louder than he intends. People give them glances but Merlin doesn’t care.

“Then I’ll be coming with you.”

“No. No, you don’t have to!” protests Merlin. Lancelot smirks.

“You are not escaping it. If these bastards come back, I want to make sure you come back too and in one piece.”

“Thank you, Lancelot,” Merlin smiles humbly, stirring coffee with a small spoon. They grin at each other.

Merlin feels grateful for what Lancelot does for him. He endures his pining, he never pushes him away. They have been friends since forever and they have gone through fire and water. And Merlin knows that if he is facing the trouble, Lancelot will be right next to him.

“I think I should talk to Gwaine,” says Merlin, when their lunch break is almost over and it’s nearly time to go back to the station. Lancelot bites his lip.

“You probably should. You said… You said Gwaine told you about Uther, right?”

“Yeah. He did. Crazy man,” Merlin adds in whisper, leaning closer to his friend. Lancelot shakes his head and his eyes are full of misunderstanding.

Merlin still remembers every single word of his conversation with Gwaine back in the pub. Gwaine ordered another pint of beer both for himself and Merlin and he started telling the story.

“I met Uther when Arthur first invited me home. He hesitated to invite me at all but he never gave reasons. Later I understood why, of course. His father, a mad man, that’s it. Kept Arthur under strict control, no step off the line. Not that Arthur ever obeyed,” smirked Gwaine and Merlin smiled too. “He was obsessed with his children’s safety. He saw plots against them everywhere. Questioned anyone who came in contact with Arthur and Morgana. Even me!”

“But why?” asked Merlin, putting down his beer with a loud bang. Gwaine shrugged.

“I never knew. I think he’s just gone mad and that’s it. He is a rich man. Of course, he saw everyone as a threat to his possessions as well as his children. They say his wife died because someone ordered her. Since then Pendragon was never the same. Plots, money, killers - that’s all that is in his head.”

“But why can’t anyone stop him? Can’t them, you know, put him somewhere, help him?” asked Merlin sympathetically. Gwaine laughed out loudly and shook his head.

“Merlin, he owns the city! He pays money to keep Arthur under control. No one wants to stand up against him as long as he throws them their dirty banknotes. Morgana has managed to escape him and it was a huge scandal. I think even papers laid their hands on the story.”

“What happened?”

“Uther wanted to lock Morgana up.”

“What?” exclaimed Merlin and Gwaine nodded.

“Unbelievable, isn’t it? She has always been a freedom lover, a free woman and she hated being controlled. Uther thought she was asking for danger, behaving like this. He arranged something and Morgana was arrested for a crime she never committed. But Morgana has Uther’s strengths and, well, power. Her lawyer got her out, together they sued Uther for an incredible sum and she ran for the States.”

Merlin stared at Gwaine in shock and suddenly the beer was too bitter and his head was swimming.

“How does Arthur even survive this?” asked Merlin with his brows furrowed. “On a second thought, you don’t think...”

He leaned in.

“You don’t think it could be Uther who arranged the accident?” said Merlin and raised his eyebrows. “You know. For “safety” reasons.”

Gwaine leaned back on his chair and eyed Merlin with a heavy look.

“I thought of it, mate. And the more I think about it, the more possible it seems. Even so, we have neither a proof nor guts to stand up to him. I treasure my life.”

“But we can’t leave it like this! It’s a near murder!” cried Merlin.

“Mate, I know. But we’ll figure it out. Just don’t shout about it on every corner, alright?”

***

_Arthur paces the room, his chainmail shaking with every step. How could he let Merlin stay there, leave him to die? His heart clenched when he thought of his servant being tortured. Is Morgana holding him captive? Are there bandits, merely seeking out their victims in the forest?_

_And who, who let the word of their journey slip?_

_Too many questions, Arthur thinks and shoves them away. He decides to think about it later, as the most pressing matter is to find Merlin and get rid of this George._

_The knights’ reports are useless and Arthur knows that if you want something done, you should do it yourself. He rides in the forest alongside with Gwaine. They travel through the thick woods and Arthur knows, Merlin is somewhere there, he is in danger and the King will do anything to find his servant, at whatever cost it will be._

***

It’s late at night and Gwen is checking on her patient Arthur Pendragon. She smoothes his blanket. Her eyes stay on the man’s face for a little too long, as she studies his handsome features. She likes him but she is sure this man is lucky already, having such a man as Merlin by his side. When Gwen looks around one last time before ending her shift, she notices the man’s lips moving slightly, hardly noticeable. She approaches him carefully.

“Mer...” he mumbles, his throat stiff and his lips not even properly opened. Gwen smiles. She knows it’s a sign of recovery. Her heart is warmed by love she sees, as Arthur is trying to wake up by whispering his lover’s name.


	5. The Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much, my kind readers, for your comments and messages on Tumblr. It makes my heart glow with warmth!

Merlin stands at the hospital entrance. Its glass doors are opening now and then, letting out visitors, healed patients and doctors. He stares at it for a while, wondering if Uther Pendragon placed any kind of security there to prevent Merlin from coming. The young man hesitates a little but dares to walk inside, cautiously looking around for any sign of hostile broad-shouldered guards.

As he nervously passes the hall and goes up the stairs, he is glad to see nobody following him, no nurse calling the phone. He goes upstairs and quickly reaches the hall with Arthur’s ward and slides inside, closing the door.

“Hi, Arthur,” he says softly, smiling at the man on the bed. He sits by his side and shakes his head. “You’d never believe what happened to me yesterday.”

This moment the door is opened and closed again and Gwaine is inside. He pauses for a second before smiling to Merlin and shaking his hand.

“You look pale, mate,” he says lowly, drawing another stool. Merlin chuckles.

“Are you talking to me or to Arthur?”

“Well, to you, because Arthur has been pale for quite a while now, and you haven’t. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Merlin shakes his head but it looks absolutely inconvincing. Gwaine arches his brow in disbelief. Merlin sighs and stares at his hands. “Well, not really. I met Uther Pendragon.”

Gwaine’s face hardens immediately and his eyes become heavy. He grabs Merlin’s arm.

“What did he want from you?”

“He wants me to stop seeing Arthur,” explains Merlin, trying to get his arm out of Gwaine’s grip. He lets it go but growls.

“This man… We must do something before he hurts you. I won’t let him get his filthy fingers to you.”

“Gwaine, can he really… you know. Kill someone?” adds Merlin in whisper.

“He wanted to lock up his own daughter. What do you think he’ll do to you?”

“Right.”

“Merlin, I don’t think you should be coming to see Arthur for a while. It’s safer for you,” says Gwaine, looking at his friend in coma. Merlin follows his gaze. What is Arthur dreaming about? He looks peaceful and has no business in dangers Merlin takes upon himself to come and see him. Arthur is serene.

***

_Betrayals. So many betrayals, thinks Arthur, lying in bed with a wound in his chest. It hurts but no more than the wound on his heart. All he ever wanted is peace and prosperity for his kingdom, his people. Has he ever deceived them? Has he ever let them down?_

_He is still rolling memories of his uncle Agravaine in his head, who betrayed the castle to Morgana. Arthur thinks of his half-sister and the kindness she used to have. He thinks of Guinevere and her love affair with Lancelot. There seems to be so little people left who are worth to be cared about._

_Merlin is, thinks Arthur. Oh Merlin is so worth to be cared about._

***

“No way, I’m not listening to this man and stopping to see Arthur. No way,” repeats Merlin, standing up, his brows furrowed. Gwaine sighs and stands up too.

“It’s for your own good,” he says softer, but Merlin is shaking his head vigorously.

Their conversation is stopped by Gwen the nurse, who enters the ward with a metal tray. She gives the two men a kind smile and approaches Arthur.

“Sorry to interrupt, but there are some medicines I need to inject,” she puts the tray on the bedside table, carefully avoiding the photo frame, and starts meddling with a syringe. “The doctor says he is recovering. I told him about yesterday and they are happy to acknowledge it must be a sign of recovery.”

The two friends exchange glances and then stare at Gwen. She laughs and shakes her head.

“But of course, I haven’t told you yet. I visited Arthur last night during my shift. He was whispering words,” she gave Merlin a quick playful look. “A name, actually.”

“What name?” wonders Gwaine.

Gwen smiles even wider before saying. “Merlin’s.”

The men’s eyes are wide and looking at each other. Merlin stutters something but closes his mouth as no comprehensible sound escapes his lips. How is this even possible?

“I don’t think it’s that surprising. Comatose people usually start whispering or even talking when they are close to awakening. I’m giving him some medicine that might boost his consciousness. I’m sure he’ll be up and about very soon,” Gwen tells them while making an injection.

“Perhaps, this is because I mention your name often?” asks Gwaine silently. He looks confused and so does Merlin. His ears blush a bit. Perhaps, this is indeed because Merlin’s name sounds so often in the ward. But maybe it happens because he comes to see Arthur all by himself and spends hours at his bed, holding his hand and talking?

“I think it’s very sweet, Merlin. He remembers your name even in coma.“

“But he can’t “remember” it,” emphasizes Merlin. “We have never met!”

“Haven’t you?” says Gwen and there is immense surprise in her tone. She looks up at the two visitors confused and blushed. “I thought you are...”

“What?”

“His boyfriend.”

Merlin and Gwaine are laughing loudly, something nervous appearing in Merlin’s air.

“Boyfriend, Merlin? No indeed,” mutters Gwaine through low laughing. He claps Merlin’s back in a friendly manner. “This bloke is good, but they have really never met. Unless Arthur caught a glimpse of Merlin before falling in coma and fell in love with him from the first sight. But I doubt it!”

Merlin laughs along with Gwaine, but his face is stiff.

***

The next time Merlin intends to visit Arthur, Lancelot joins him. He is curious to see this Arthur himself as well and when they enter the ward, his glance immediately moves to Pendragon.

“Well, Merlin, he does look… handsome,” grins Lancelot. Merlin rolls his eyes and his cheeks flush. He appreciates his friend’s company but right now he wishes to stay with Arthur alone. As if hearing his thoughts, which very well may be true, Lancelot pats his shoulder.

“I’ll wait outside.”

And he leaves. Merlin looks around. The ward feels like second home now, he knows every corner of it, knows how the stool will creak if dragged on the floor. Moreover he knows every patch of Arthur’s hand, every inch of it touched and sometimes kissed. Merlin’s heart is wrapped into something smooth and warm and he can’t yet explain it. He’s holding Arthur’s hand again and he is surprised to feel tears in the corners of his eyes.

“I’d like it so much if you wake up,” he says with a sorrowful smile.

“Well, this explains,” says a sudden voice behind. Merlin looks around and see Gwaine with the smuggest grin ever. Merlin quickly drops Arthur’s hand and Gwaine laughs softly.

“Explains what?”

“Why he whispers your name. I’d be waking up from coma too, had someone handsome and nice like you held my hand,” Gwaine is grinning and Merlin realizes there is no threat. Apart from being laughed at, of course, but he thinks he can deal with it.

***

_It’s over. The battle at Camlann is over. Arthur’s life is over too. He lies on the grass, no, in Merlin’s arms. Suddenly the world is so big, but all that is near is Merlin. There is so much to say. Arthur tries to open his mouth, but his muscles can hardly move. There is so much pain in his chest. His vision is blurred but he tries his best to concentrate on Merlin’s face, because he is not leaving without saying it._

_He must thank him. Merlin is a sorcerer, so what? Wasn’t he the most loyal servant he’d ever had? Wasn’t he the best friend? Wasn’t he the one to risk his life so many times, that it was ridiculous?_

_Arthur cherishes Merlin. There are seconds left to say it, as his heart beating slows down and his body turns off. He whispers “Thank you” but there is something so different on his lips._

_Arthur Pendragon dies. Dies in his most faithful servant’s, his best friend’s arms. But at least he let him know, if not in words, then in the eyes, that he loved him._

***

Merlin has to endure Gwaine’s teasing for an entire week. His teasing is kind hearted and friendly and Merlin reacts lightly to it. They both know that there is definitely something deeper here, but it’s easier to take it as a joke, rather than launch in all-night conversations.

However there is something Merlin doesn’t tell Gwaine or Lancelot, something that eats him at nights and deprives him of sleeping. Merlin starts thinking of what will happen once Arthur is awake. How will he react to him, knowing that some unknown bloke was visiting him, holding his hand? Merlin dreamt of Arthur’s awakening, but it has always been bright and happy. Now that the moment seemed to be near, he is getting scared. Merlin turns over in his bed and it feels too hot.

When he finally dozes off, he is awoken by a phone call.

“Merlin?” says a wavering voice of Gwaine in his mobile phone.

“Yes?” Merlin’s voice is hoarse.

“Arthur is back.”


	6. The Returning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Romantic Arthur? Romantic Arthur.
> 
> Please, do leave comments, your opinion. I'd love to know if you like how the story flows!

Merlin’s chest is so full of worry and anticipation, that he can hardly hold himself from running away, screaming. Gwaine has not yet arrived and Merlin is not sure himself how he managed to come to the hospital so quickly. Perhaps, it’s a lack of transport on the night roads or his eagerness to finally meet Arthur.

Merlin is standing at the glass door of the ward, looking through its dusty surface on two shapes moving. It’s Gwen inside, treating her patient with urgent medicines and giving him injections. Merlin hears them speaking and then two shapes become one. _Are they hugging?_ They can’t be. Perhaps, Gwen just leaned in to give another injection.

As Merlin sees her shadow come up to the door, he steps away. He’s playing with the bottom of his jacket, waiting for the moment.

“Merlin,” says Gwen, stepping outside the ward and giving him a playful, somewhat reproachful look. “He is waiting for you. And I knew you are a couple, there was no need to trick me.”

“He is what? We are what?” Merlin looks perplexed.

“He wants to see you,” and with a brilliant smile Gwen hastens away to get other medicines.

Merlin hesitates. He makes a deep breath and steps inside, heart clenching so hard, he can feel it.

There is Arthur. He half sits on his bed, his pillow not in a lying but a standing position now. He doesn’t look like he has just awoken from a months’ coma. He does look pale however and when he sees Merlin, his chest, his body moves forward. There is something in his eyes, which Merlin could never imagine in them. Sadness and happiness together.

“Merlin,” Arthur’s voice is hoarse, silent. And exactly like Merlin imagined it.

“Arthur,” he says blankly, still not sure what he should do. As feelings overwhelm him, pouring out of every body cell, of every vein, Merlin can’t hold himself any longer. Her hurries towards the bed and thrusts his hand to Arthur, pulling him in a tight hug. Or, perhaps, it’s Arthur who moves him closer, like a favourite plushie toy, his large hand warm on Merlin’s back.

“I’m so glad you are back,” says Merlin, hardly acknowledging what’s going on.

“I’m glad to be back too, Merlin.”

“You know my name,” he says as they broke apart, though their hands are now tangled together.

“Of course, I know your name, you idiot. Have you forgotten our times in Camelot? How much time has passed?”

Merlin’s head goes dizzy. He stops understanding what is happening. And there is something cold, unpleasant pouring down his throat and he tries hard to swallow it.

“Arthur, I don’t know what you are talking about. You know that… we have never met before the accident?”

“Accident? What accident?” Arthur shakes his head with a blank smile, blinking fast.

“You were hit by a car. I managed to get you to the hospital in time, but you fell in coma. About four months ago,” it feels strange to tell this story over and over again, but now he is holding Arthur’s hand and it’s a new experience.

“Oh God...” Arthur leans in roughly, as if someone claps him on the back. He touches his forehead and Merlin knows that this must have been his last moments with Arthur Pendragon, as his memories are quickly returning in his head. Arthur presses his lips and his eyes are suddenly red. “God… I remember it. All of it.”

He frowns, looking into nowhere, recollecting his real life. Merlin stands up from the bed with a shuddering sigh.

“Where are you going?” asks Arthur.

“I don’t think I should be here anymore.”

“But I want you to be,” Arthur looks at Merlin with sad pleading eyes. Merlin sits back and the bed creaks softly under his weight. Arthur takes his hand and presses lips to it, such soft warm lips. “Merlin, aren’t you wondering how I know your name?”

“Well, after all my visits here… Perhaps, it was leaking through your coma,” Merlin makes a nervous laugh. Arthur smiles and shakes his head.

“You have been visiting me? It’s nice. But no. I saw you in my dreams, while I was in a coma. And I’m not sure which reality I like best. The one where I’m in here, with a sports career, mad father and a sister, far away from me, or where I’m the King with you always by my side. Although a dead King now.”

“What do you mean?” Merlin smiles weakly. Arthur is still holding his hand as if it’s the dearest thing, rubs Merlin’s fingers and presses it to his chest.

“It will take so long to explain. Right now I just want to look at you. To know that you are here, that you are alive. Even if in reality you might be a very different person,” he leans in closer to Merlin. “Although for now I don’t see any difference.”

Merlin is completely puzzled, but he listens. Arthur moves even closer to him and his hands start shaking. They are embracing again as if Arthur wants to get most of it. Merlin feels a kiss on his neck, on his earlobe, on his cheek. Arthur’s body is warm and close and it seems Merlin needs nothing else in this world.

“Ha, our princess got himself the best of kings!” says a voice behind them alongside the opening door noise. They break apart quickly and Merlin glances at Arthur’s face. There is a second’s confusion.

“Gwaine!” they shake hands so tight and then hug. “Good to know you are still in this life of mine. Why are you not sitting at my bedside, but Merlin is?”

Merlin blushes so hard that he has to look away from both of them. Gwaine pats his shoulder.

“This lad must have come earlier than me. But here I am, at your service,” smiles Gwaine and laughs lowly. Arthur joins him.

Both of them talk, they talk a lot of everything and nothing. Arthur tells Gwaine about his dream and that Gwaine was his faithful knight. Merlin snorts when he turns out to have been the most powerful sorcerer and, well, a manservant. Gwaine, on the other hand, fills Arthur in about all that he missed in reality. Sport games, Morgana’s return. Merlin just sits and listens to both of them, absorbing Arthur’s voice like water. They keep brushing each other with quick glances and Gwaine either fails to notice or does so purposefully that their hands are still tangled and Arthur’s big finger is rubbing Merlin’s palm gently.

“Well, I think I’d better go and talk to the nurse. I’m your emergency contact, after all,” smiles Gwaine and winks. “Take care of Princess, Merlin.”

Arthur protests loudly, but Gwaine leaves with a ridiculous bow. Merlin turns back to Arthur and he is pulled back in an embrace.

“I don’t want you ever to leave,” says Arthur and Merlin feels there is an “again” there. All questions later, he decides. All questions later.

He doesn’t know how it happens but moments later his lips are on Arthur’s. They are so warm and so gentle and Merlin can’t decide if he wants more of it or for this tenderness to last forever. His hand is on Arthur’s back and he runs his fingers through Arthur’s golden hair.

“This is too good,” mumbles Pendragon, pulling away for a moment and looking in Merlin’s eyes. “If we go on like this, we might spoil this bed.”

They laugh and break apart, though still close to each other. Merlin is caressing Arthur’s face, now that he is truly allowed to do so. He tells him all about the accident, how he was coming to see him all this time, how he might have fallen in love with him. He never mentions Uther Pendragon, however, wishing to avoid Arthur’s disappointment.

Merlin leaves early in the morning when Arthur has to go through all the medical procedures. Merlin has to go to work but he knows only too well that Lancelot will spare him, just give him a call. Merlin is walking down the morning street, his chest is so light and at the same time filled with so much love and happiness, that he wonders if he’s hovering over the ground already. People stare at his bright grinning face.

He turns round the corner which reveals the tube entrance. He is pushed by someone but he doesn’t care, they can push him all day and he won’t notice. But then there is a strong grip on his arm again and before he has a chance to scream, someone is placing a wet cloth over his face and everything goes black.

**Author's Note:**

> For any questions, typo reports and suggestions, please contact me on [Tumblr](http://accio-toffy.tumblr.com/)


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